Country Road Prostitutes

Of the varied events piled behind me in life, few involve prostitutes. Occasionally on my travels, I'll run into a ho or two. My friend Caleb and I have a running debate on whether we spent an entire day in Cairo with a prostitute without knowing it (we only paid for pizza). In the red light districts of Germany, I glimpsed the large display cases of women, most of them looking mainly bored. However, the strangest-environment-to-find-a-prostitute award now goes to Uruguay.

Pat, Bob, their gardener, and I were driving down a lazy road, as if on the way to Grandma's farm, to buy some plants for the tiny garden in front of Pat's tiny castle. Bright green trees lined the roadside, dirt trails lead onto long driveways, and light traffic coasted beside us. A beautiful setting for a Saturday afternoon. Pat piped in, “Oh, this is the road with all the prostitutes”. Before I absorbed  exactly what she said, a saw a woman dressed in revealing South American Walmart clothes standing on a dirt road, as if waiting for the bright yellow school bus to take her to her first day at school. If she had been wearing a purse on her arm, instead of a box of cigarettes, I might have at least, optimistically, assumed she was waiting for a city bus.

I'm accustomed to strange cultures, but I couldn't locate an explanation in my brain for how this could make sense. Business sense, even. Low traffic area in dusty settings rarely equals bang for the buck. Excuse the hilarious and witty expression. I may not have been clear, so I will reiterate: the prostitute was standing on a dirt road in the middle of a rural area.

Pat explained, this is the road workers use to return home, so here the women “workers” wait . For some reason, this information did not help that she was leaning against a wood post, similar to those seen in Lincoln cabin photos.

The sins of man may one day be counted by an unknown source, but until then, I only judge on testable reason and logic. So I shun the prostitutes of Uruguay solely for their lack of aesthetic business sense and physiological persuasion. I reject their proposals of pleasure on the basis of the principle of practicality. To put it more elegantly: A dirt road??? Really??